mancrush.com - Rank Every Man in History

The Machine

He plays for the Los Angeles Lakers of the NBA

He shoots like hot sizzle

1654

Jonathan Sanchez

iTameDragons

Pitcher for San Francisco Giants

Age: 25

Can bend time with his mind

1371

Brian Jones

laymelow

Founder of the Rolling Stones

Could learn any instrument in half an hour

Hobby was to run away from screaming girl fans

1792

Ki-Jana Carter

Former NFL RB

Tore his knee in his first ever NFL preseason game

Ended up being a major bust

+48

633

Neil O'Donnell

Former NFL QB

Threw 2 costly interceptions in Super Bowl XXX

Favorite wide receiver: Cowboys CB Larry Brown

1791

Rod Woodson

Former NFL CB

Came back from reconstructive knee surgery in 1995

Career interceptions: 71

1790

Niko Bellic

Protagonist of Grand Theft Auto IV

Killed people, smuggled people, and sold people

Makes a living out of stealing and carjacking

1789

Mario Williams

Houston Texans DE

2006 NFL 1st Overall Pick

14 Sacks in the 2007 season

1788

Kordell Stewart

wtfitseamon

Former NFL player for 3 teams

Known as "Slash" as he played QBRBWRP!

Was part of the "Miracle at Michigan"

1787

Bob Nelson

wtfitseamon

Former NFL Nose Tackle

Unstoppable in the video game Tecmo Super Bowl

Did nothing particularly noteworthy in his career

+124

451

Colonel Sanders

chiara

Indiana-born founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken

“Finger lickin’” recipe kept in top-secret vault

Rocked a white suit, western tie, and horn glasses

+19

1174

Sir Roger Moore

chiara

Famous for his roles as "The Saint" and James Bond

“Nobody does it better”…at raising his eyebrows

Has a special talent for making bad puns

+144

406

Sir Thomas More

chiara

Philosopher, statesman, and author of “Utopia”

Head fell off after falling out with Henry VIII

Has a tough job as the patron Saint of politicians

+314

Larry Fedora

Southern Miss Head Football Coach

"We're going to attack all the time."

Southern Miss, To the Top!

999

Bob Loblaw

moc

Fictional Legal Counsel

Replaced Barry Zuckerhorn

You don't need doubletalk; you need Bob Loblaw

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

1785

moc

Nursery Rhyme Legend

Whenever we go out, the people always shout

His name is my name too

1784

Randy Marsh

flies666

Randy is shown to be South Park's only geologist

Randy is often the leader

Randy has a drinking problem

+122

452

Javier Bardem

Actor

Hopeless romantic in "Love in the Time of Cholera"

Refers to random people as Friend-o

+57

605

Sean Astin

Actor

Son of Patty Duke Astin

Vegetarian Hillary Clinton Supporter

1783

James Taylor

ncthom

Musical Legend and All-around Cool Guy

Went Bald and Managed to Keep His Magnatism

Divorced Carly Simon and Remain Cool